Walk In Their Shoes: Understanding Your Child’s Point Of View

 Please join us in welcoming Amy Williams to the blog again this week. She has written this important article about how to better understand our children. Truly seeking to understand our children is so important for them and ourselves. It shows that we respect our children. As Dr. Maria Montessori said: “Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their “innocence” and of the greater possibilities of their future.” (Dr. Montessori’s Own Handbook, p. 133).


How well do you understand your child? Recognizing that your child is a unique human being with their own personal views of the world is a very important factor in parenting. This includes having a keen awareness of how your child thinks, filters experiences, and behaves. Such knowledge will not only help you support them throughout childhood, but it will also help you guide them towards maturity. If you’re curious about learning how to walk in your child’s shoes to see things as they do, here are some important insights to keep in mind.

Understanding Your Child’s Personality

When it comes to understanding your child one of the first places to start is with their personality. While a child’s likes and dislikes may change over time, there personalities will not. For instance, be mindful of their individual traits and characteristics. Are they introverted or are they extroverted? Do they adapt easily to change or do they need time to adjust to new settings? Also, how do they deal with stressful situations? Do they handle stress with ease or do they respond with emotional outbursts? These are all important considerations to keep in mind that will help you understand exactly where your child is coming from when they say or do certain things.
Also keep in mind that a child’s temperament can be directly impacted by their surroundings. For example, family dynamics, relationships, and even environment can all influence a child’s personality. It is important that parents be aware of such factors because a child’s experiences are typically a driving force behind their actions. Ensuring the child has a happy, healthy, and loving home environment is a good starting point to help you guide their thoughts and behaviors. Therefore, parents can successfully see the world through their child’s eyes by not only taking the child’s immediate responses into account, but by also putting their child’s experiences into a much larger context.

Also consider, what is the best way to manage the child given their personality traits? Your child’s innate personality is very complex. Therefore, a parent can regulate their own behaviors and interactions with their child by keeping that child’s personality at the forefront of how they parent him or her. Nurture your child’s well-being by being showing support, appreciation, and understanding of their unique traits and characteristics and then relate with them accordingly.


Connect with Your Child

Another great way to get to know your child is to connect with them on a one-on-one basis. Parents can do this by simply talking to their children through meaningful conversations. In this manner, you will hear first-hand what your child’s perspectives are. When talking with your child show interest and curiosity into what they have to say. Actively encourage them to communicate and express their points of view. Engage with your child and make a conscientious effort to understand their thoughts and feelings. This will help you and your child connect with one another on a deeper, emotional level that will get to the core of who they are as a human being.

All in all, you can meet your child where they are by putting yourself in his or her shoes. Some of the fundamental building blocks behind raising a child come from understanding how they think and feel and by knowing who they are as a person. Empowered parents recognize just how special their children are and they take the time to see the world through the eyes of their children. Provide your child with a lifetime of support and protect their well-being by taking the initiative to get to know them better as individuals.

Amy Williams is a free-lance journalist based in Southern California and mother of two. As a parent, she enjoys spreading the word on positive parenting techniques in the digital age and raising awareness on issues like cyberbullying and online safety. Follow her on twitter: @AmyKWilliams1


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